Christmas is Not About The Children

I have been fortunate to have the opportunity to take, for the first time in five years, a Holiday break.  For the last two days, I have slept in, met friends for coffee, and -gasp- watched Daytime Television!
Instead of using television as my usual white noise, I have made a concerted effort to really take time off.  So after my morning walk, I sat down with a cup of coffee and Chatito on my lap.  My morning show of choice?  Good Day L.A.
Glazing over light journalism and celebrity updates, (remember, this is all new to me!), the statement that "Christmas was all about the kids..." woke me up.
Really?  Soo, Christmas is all about the kids - and no one else?
This statement was made in reference to a holiday charity drive - which, as usual - focuses on toys and the kids.
I agree.  It's wonderful to see kiddies in their footed PJ's and wide-eyed stares open ther gifts on Christmas morning.  Even I love watching my nieces and nephews open their gifts!
But have I ever thought that Christmas was all about the kids - and only the kids?  Nope.  Not even when "I" was a kid.
Whereas every TV commentator seems to believe that having a gift on Christmas morning is a make-or-break future memory for today's kids; my early teenage memories are those of me obsessing about the gift I was buying my father (who is now deceased), mother and maternal grandma.
I probably hoped I would get some sort of cheesy 80's something-or-other, and I certainly screamed with delight when my parents gave me my very own copy of Nirvana's Nevermind CD.  But nothing, not a single gift, gave me more pleasure than watching my parents open their own gifts.
Whether it was my father begrudgingly opening a gift that the four of us picked out for him, or the first time I gave him the cologne that he would wear until the day he died, there isn't a single gift that was given to me that gave me more joy than the gift I gave my parents - or those they gave to each other.
Like the year my father gave my mother a gold watch.  It was the most beautiful thing that I had ever seen!  And when we had a break-in in our home years later and that beautiful watch, among other things, was stolen, my dad enlisted me in helping him replace that watch.
My father, albeit not the most outwardly affectionate man, was a definite stud when it came to treating my mother like a woman.  My mother, a more affectionate spouse, treated my dad like a king...and his gifts were equally as beautiful and touching.  Not because of the financial value - there were years that it was a robe and slippers waiting for my dad under the tree - but because they made it a point to make each other as important as we, their children were.
My dad was known to make a clear distinction in the two roles my mother had in our home: wife and the mother of his children.  He went as far as buying her two set's of flower bouquets for Mother's Day (a gesture that to this day has made a significant impact in my view towards women, marriage and parenthood).
In turn, my parents showed me how to enjoy giving to our parents and grandparents, more so than expecting a million gifts under the tree solely for me (or my three siblings).
Actually, I don't recall a single year having a tree with gifts only for the kids, and none for my parents.  Unfortunately, most non-profits and charities today are doing just that: focusing on the kids.
Now, this is not to say that kid's shouldn't receive a gift.  But leaving the parents, who happen to be the rock, the support system, and a child's major source of influence, completely out of the Holiday is teaching children something that is common place with today's youth and encourages selfish behavior:  everything is about them.


And I disagree.  Correction, I strongly disagree.
I believe that the Holiday's are equally as important to adults as they are to children.  Again, this isn't about the gift - but the simple, yet impactful act, of teaching a child that they are the most important member of the household.
This is a discussion that my husband, a father of two college-age daughters, and I discuss: how do we unteach the girls that in the real world it isn't just about them.
"It's simple," I told him, "let's start with Christmas."
I hope that you too start with Christmas and enjoy it as much as you want your children to.
And if you haven't purchased a single thing for your spouse or significant other, consider doing it today.
Maybe next year you can purchase one less gift for your kids and buy one for the person that will be with you when your children leave to college: your spouse.