I remember so clearly the early days of my relationship with Mr. A. All the time and energy we put into planning the perfect date night—where we would eat, what movie we would see, who would be driving whom, where would we go for dessert, etc. Not that those dates weren’t memorable and all but they clearly took a lot of planning and thought, something that neither one of us has these days.
Now, our date nights look like this.
A pre-purchased meal from the store that requires minimal effort eaten in front of the TV while we watch our latest Netflix find. My standards for date night have slowly devolved to anything that doesn’t require me to cook 
It’s not for a lack of excitement about being together, but rather the sheer lack of time that we have to do anything that requires extra planning or brain time. Between house hunting, working, spending time with family and friends, and squeezing in church obligations, we barely have time anymore to get our errands done, let alone plan elaborate dates. I guess we are becoming one of those boring old married couples.
In some ways, it doesn’t even bother me that my only qualification for a date night is a meal that doesn’t require any work. It’s great to know that I don’t need a million activities and lots of money to enjoy spending time with my husband. Some of my favorite memories are when the two of us are just hanging out in our sweatpants watching TV. At the end of the day, all I really want is to spend time with him—the locale and the surroundings matter very little.
On the other hand, I definitely don’t want to become a couple that settles for always chilling at home. We are young and vibrant people and we should be having fun instead of being strapped by our responsibilities (which constantly nag me as a professed type A perfectionist).
So I guess I’m wondering if anyone else struggles with this from time to time? Do you get stuck in a rut with your dates nights? Do you think it’s a good or bad thing? Any tips for finding a way to balance it all?
I’m thinking about making a goal to plan one nice date night every month. This will force us to say no to some not as important or necessary invitations and to focus more on the time we spend with each other.
