A few days ago I received a call from a friend that I've known since my mid 20's. We met while working at a place we both loved, but connected on our passion for disliking our very lazy boss.
I'm now 42 and newly married, she's in her 30's, has been married for more than 10 years and has three beautiful boys. We both live hundreds of miles away and speak only occasionally.
Our lives, for all intents and purposes, couldn't be more different. Yet we are friends.
But not any kind of friend, she's the kind of friend that if I ever needed her, or she ever needed me, to "burry the body," there would be nothing in this world from stopping us from doing just that.
While our lives have gone in different directions, our love for each other has not only grown, it's matured.
Yes, sometimes we go months without talking, not even a text between us, and through that time I see her Facebook posts. Friends that are closer (geographically) than I am spend more time with her, but not once I have I felt the green-eyed monster come out when someone else is "there" instead of me.
We just have a different friendship - and that's OK.
I also have a friend, that I love dearly, but when I see her it's all about us getting dressed-up, girly, and enjoying the fruitiest of drinks. She's only a couple of years younger than me, and although she works for Corporate America and I don't, our career has pretty much taken the same road.
On a personal level she's divorced, but lives a single gal life. I'm married, and the single gal stuff we used to do, doesn't really happen anymore...I'm married.
Again, I see her Facebook posts drinking up a storm with friends I don't like, or know much about. She knows this, and we just don't talk about it.
We just have a different friendship - and that's OK.
I also have a friend that lives close to me. Although we see each other almost daily, we recently had a falling out.
Things are now OK, but one thing stood out from our "clearing the air" conversation: She doesn't like "drama." And by drama let me tell you what that means: she only wants to be around people when they are happy and peppy.
Yah - like that's going to happen!
Most of us have good and bad days, and on those bad days we aren't the funnest people to be around. So I get her. That's why I'm not mad - I just get her point.
She's a more of a social friend - and that's OK.
I also have another friend, who I have called one of my dearest, closest and yes, a professional mentor, for many, many years. We go from seeing each other on a weekly basis, to taking breaks from each other.
No falling out. No drama. No fight. Sometimes we just need space to do what we need to do without the shadow of our friendship.
But he's there, and I am there, and we will never be out of each others life.
We just have a different friendship - and that's OK.
And then there's my best friend, my husband - who happens to be my rock. No one take precedence over him, but yet sometimes other people and their needs are a priority.
He gets it. My friends get it.
All of them get it - But it wasn't always that way.
When I was younger I wrongly thought that all my friends would be my "BFF's for life."
The plan was to grow old together and through thick or thin do the same things we did when we were younger.
College? No problem - we could write (I went to college before emails), and stay in touch. We planned to enjoy the 100 days of summer and schedule yearly trips.
Nothing, nothing, would happen to our friendship. Ever.
Boy were we wrong.
Life gets in the way - and that's OK.
We will have falling outs - and that's OK.
We won't talk every day - and that's OK.
We won't always agree - and that's OK.
But one thing is for certain:
Friendships will grow-up...it's up to you to mature along the way.
