Jack of All Trades, Master of All

A couple of weeks back I decided to take a break from blogging to update the design of my blog. In between all that, I also started getting busy with school, work and of course, life.
The redesign of my blog didn't happen. I realized that what I have is what I need now.
I also realized that the "one thing" I wanted to do for the next ten years, was only a small part of the everything I want to do in my life. I felt, and continue to feel, guilty about this.
Mostly because I grew up with the notion that in order to succeed in life you had to specialize in one thing. I was told that doing a little of everything was a sure sign that you had no attention span, or worse, talent, to really take any one thing to that next level.
I go to sleep with that nagging thought and wake-up at 3 a.m. Every. Single. Night. "I need to focus," I tend to say to myself as I drink that ice cold glass of water in the middle of the night.
By the next morning I can't focus on one thing. Not a one.
Truthfully, most people that I have come across that balance two or three "talents," aren't great. They aren't even good. And they seem to be all over the place. Happy, but all over the place. I don't want to be them.
Or so I think.
That novel I intended to write this summer? I held it back because I was filled with self-doubt. That, and the fact that I was physically feeling like crap.
So this semester, come rain or shine, my intention was, and continues to be, to focus on bettering my writing (notice the pun?) during my advanced creative writing course.
While my photography course was a last minute add-on that was intended to help me learn how to best use a camera to, get this, supplement my writing with good photos.
Six weeks later? This hobby has awakened a passion for photography I have always held dear - but never really thought was an option beyond Instagraming or supplementing what I already do.
Just like writing, designing, and travel, photography makes me happy. It fills me. It challenges me.
Photography also makes me better when I encourage myself to "do it," instead of fighting the urge to pick-up my camera. Photography actually makes me better at my other talents.
How do I know? That creative writing class? I honestly didn't feel I connected with anyone. Not the professor, not my classmates, not anyone. They, meaning my classmates, are all writers and readers. I am just a PR Pro trying to be a paid writer and blogger.
Then a couple of weeks back I read an incomplete chapter of my novel, Clara, out loud. After I read that chapter, the expected silence was followed-up with several hands raised in unison. I thought, for certain, that each one of those hands would be followed with edits, changes, questions, and feedback that would point to the fact that I was just pretending to be a writer; and, not a good one at that.
I was wrong.
The feedback I received was encouraging and confirmed that yes, I could actually be a published author. Some classmates even stayed behind to talk to me and share suggestions to bring Clara to life. I felt, at that very moment, that a publishing deal was a strong possibility.
Last week my test photos also received rave reviews. From what I was told, my photos humanize my subjects and connect emotionally with those that view them. They have "feelings" and are, from what I was told, proof that I should continue to perfect my craft. My hobby....and one of my many passions.
Meanwhile my production course has opened the doors to some pretty influential people. Production, which is something I have done in the past, but really never pursued, seems to be something I am quite good at.
Storytelling, another course intended to fine-tune my writing, is a bit more challenging. Mainly because I have never written with a "storytelling" formula.
Whereas on the work side I recently met with a prospective client. Someone that had only communicated with through emails. As anyone would in my position, I was a bit skeptical and unsure that our meeting would lead to anything. But during our meeting things flowed. Ideas surfaced, and I was encouraged to stay on my career path.
I am good at what I do.
I don't suck.
I DON'T SUCK.
And gosh darn it, as happy and encouraged as I should be on my choices, I am scared. Very.
I want to make the right choices. Do the right thing. And, to master my passions...while continuously learning, growing, and shifting to make this life, my life, something worth living.
I don't want to suck. Ever.
I want to continue to learn, grow, and become an expert at what I do. Even if it's more than one thing.