Some folks have bitchy resting faces," other's walk around audibly laughing and walking around with a grin constantly on their faces.
99% of the time, I'm the latter. This is usually not a problem, unless I want to be left alone.
During those times I'm consistently pursued by lonely folks looking for that one smile in the crowd to make them feel better. ((Pointing finger at me))
This week I avoided people and stayed mostly at home hoping to regain all my lost energy from months of planning a conference, over-working, personal stuff and school. The few times I interacted with people this week was either on the phone, during a shopping trip but mostly through social media.
Hiding behind a computer screen can sometimes mask as being outwardly social, but most of the time, it helps us avoid real life. This week was all about comfort in avoidance for me, so do the math.
Not having an active life this week (who knew being busy was really good for you?) gave me endless time to think and analyze random situations, Facebook status messages and photos.
Too much time if you ask me.
I connected the dots between cryptic Facebook status messages and passive aggressive blog posts. I became more annoyed with folks overtly religious quotes or immature statements of fact.
My expectations were matched with ridiculous disappointments. My patience quickly ending after one more post, one more status, or one more photo that screamed "me-me-me."
Social media became less about communication and, cough-cough, being social, and more about me noticing what could be fixed.
People. Annoyed. Me. All. Week. Long...but everyone can be avoided, I reminded myself.
You know, as to avoid all that negativity.
To energy-proof my space, I became even more obsessive about clearing up my feeds. I must of un-followed at least 100 people on social media each day while on Spring Break!
It was exhausting!
By yesterday morning, I-HAD-IT. I didn't want to read into anything any more. I was tired of trolling the trolls, and my eyes were twitching from rolling them more so than a prepubescent valley girl this week.
I began to worry about random folks (insert annoying trait) while, instead, completely ignoring emails and voice messages doing the complete opposite.
While I questioned the un-Christian-like qualities of my favorite-person-of-the-week, I created a false sense of busy-ness by being overtly concerned with her unethical behavior -that-no-one-saw-except-for-me. ((insert indignant chest beating))
This was probably one of the biggest lessons of the week: I will overthink things when I have more time to think; and, I allow people to suck the energy outta me.
The worse thing about all this? The world is still revolving on its axis, while my brain is tired and the trolls are still walking this God green earth.
Was my time consumed by all this crap worth it? No.
Sometimes, even if I am right, I need to learn to let things go and do me.
