Diaries Magazine

Miserable At Best

Posted on the 17 March 2014 by Katherine Anne Cutar @katherineannika
"Aw, extend mo."A very simple phrase with a very hurtful meaning.
I would just want to thank those people who are concerned/curios enough to know what really happened. So, I'm writing this blog post to just generally tell all of you. I started becoming super #maoy in Facebook and Twitter just a couple of days ago. Why? Because time is running. Because everything needs to be done right away and there's only a little time left. My IT project team, SMIZARD, and I went through a lot already and we were already so fortunate to have defended our project last week considering there were still 5 or 6 teams that haven't defended theirs yet. But we we're scheduled for re-defense after which. We 'thought' we could make it. We thought we really could because we thought that it's easy enough for us. We thought positively to maintain good vibes among us. Our ever supportive blockmates (who already have defended their projects and were sure to graduate) already helped us and viola! We thought we did great and were almost ready for Monday.
Monday came. We were already in the campus as early as 8am. We still have no concrete idea on what will happen. We then saw the list of teams projected on the TV screen that will defend during the day. We saw 6 teams scheduled for defense and 3 for re-defense. None of which was ours. None of which was from Ivy's, Siac's, Amabelle's or should I say, from the majority of the remaining defensing/re-defensing teams. Which means, not all of us will be able to defend/re-defend. Added to our astonishment is the cut-off time of defense which was 6PM and the first team (Marc and Aldwin's KitchenGuru) started theirs at around 10AM already. Each team defense can normally consume 1-2 hours; 3 hours at most. That's the time we freaked out. How can everybody have the chance to defend given the situation? Impossible. A few hours later after the 2nd team defense, many of us approached our chairperson personally at the conference room. We asked her on what will happen to those who will not be able to defend today. She explained and highlighted "...maka-graduate mo, pero dili najud mo ka-paso..." then boom! Na teary-eyed ang wosh oy. Since dili naman jud madala karung adlawa, nag hangyo mi ug pwede ba ugma (Tuesday) but she said dili kay tanan teachers mag exam na nia mag prepare pa sila for the Ring Hop inig 5pm. Inig Wednesday? Thursday? Friday? She said impossible kay naay training ang mga teachers ana until Friday. We are scheduled to be back sa first week sa April pa for our defense. So unsaon mana? Diba dmd na? Yes, maka graduate mi. Pero dili gihapon maka paso. Dili maka-experience anang maka-feel jud kag successful jud ka kay naka graduate ka. Dili maka-feel imong PARENTS sa intensity sa kanindot sa feeling nga naa kay great accomplishment by seeing their child walking through the stage, wearing a toga with a very happy face. Lahi ra kaayo. Lahi ra gyud. Labi na sa part namo nga ang usa ka parent naa sa laing nasod. Nagka lisod intawn ug pangitag kwarta. Nia karun ing-ani lang ilang patagamtam sa ilang kahago? Way sama sa kasakit.
I think there were 5 or 6 teams that were unable to make it through. The 3rd floor lobby was flooded with tears. We even thought that there was a way we could make paso sa stage by having what they call the waiver but no it's not the way we thought. Each of us was gradually contacting our parents to tell the big-and-depressing news. Me? I wasn't ready because I really don't want to disappoint my mom, especially my dad who's working overseas. I can't imagine how'd they feel. Labi na tong mga ginikanan nga nag-expect najud nga mu-graduate ilang anak to the point nga nanabi najud kay maka-proud baya. 
After a few hours, nag hinay-hinay nami ug panguli bringing the saddest news we've encountered as 'graduating' students. I called my mom first to tell her what happened. I wasn't expecting that she'll say something like "proud gihapon ko nimo, don't worry...challenges rana sa life nimo. basta kay maka-graduate na btaw ka..." Tuara, aw ni-tyabaw kog maau oy. Liman ka, ikaw kuno di baka ma-tats ana. :') she added, "pahuway na. ako nay bahala pasabot sa imo papa ani." Bisan pag mao na iyang reaction, I know nga guol gihapon siya, which is so wrong gyud.
Everything just escalated quickly. Until now dili gihapon nako/namo madawat. Four years ha, four years and we ended up like this. No Ring Hop, no Graduation Rites for almost half of the CICCT graduating students. Now people tell me, kinsay dili mag maoy ani? Imagine how depressing is this. Karun, nag imagine nalang ko how I imagined my self sauna nga nag suot ug toga, how happy my family would've been that they'll be seeing me finally graduating. And double celebration pajud kay asta akong younger twin sisters mu-graduate pod sa high school. Unsa ka guol? I would just want to share this post to all my 'kadungan' out there. We share the same feeling I know bisan pag ang uban nag kataw-katawa lang ganina para lang i-cheer up ang uban. Hay! Grabeh ka sakit gyud. Murag nahog nga nabaliwala ang tanan namo gibuhat. Pero I'll have to live with this and let time heal all the wounds. 
To all who'll be in the CICCT Ring Hop tomorrow, enjoy and God speed everyone! You deserve what you are currently experiencing. I think all of us do. It's just that nasangit lang gyud mi. And of course, inig ka Graduation Ceremony na gyud. This is the time you're all been waiting for! Be thankful and grateful. 
And sa atong mga nabilin? Aw kita2 lang nia tas gisulti ni Siacor nga 'atoang graduation' hahahaha! Buang ka Siac. Bitaw, good luck and God bless sa atong tanan.
But there's this one case... I think I can't handle pa seeing pictures/posts after sa Ring Hop and Graduation Ceremony. So I think I'll be deactivating my FB account sa for a week or two. Ako ra juy magsakit. 
Thanks to all concerned people. If you have some additional questions, textsi nalang ko oy! I'm sure to reply man sad haha. My SMIZARD teammates Chennie and Ivy, sus wa gyud ko gamahay ninyo mga kalog, I know we did our best. Thanks to Ramz nga intawn dili jud mawa sa akong tupad sa kalipay ug kalisod. And to my mom and dad nga nag support gihapon nako. So.. I think that's it. Today was such a 'feels day' and I think will continue until idk... Haha. Super maoy to the nth level. Kever oy mawa rani. :)
Miserable At Best P.S. Salamat bibi wamzy sa tsukulets, pawa stwesss. :3
Thanks for reading!
xxMiserable At Best

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