It all started once I retired from PR and I didn't have the anxiety of having to leave my phone and computer on at all times. Add to that the fun factor of actually having a real summer vacation with limited work and no school - this is the first time in almost 20 years that I can actually sit, be still and be happy.
It's quite rewarding to get to this point in my life. Never did I think I would be able to take things a little slower and make more deliberate long-term decisions instead of rushing to the next thing.
So on to dinner..
My hubby and I catch-up on our day during dinner. He tells me about his studio work and his commute, I tell him about calls, emails, Maya and school stuff. Sometimes, like today, I will throw-in an actual face-to-face meeting for good measure.
"Have you talked to such-and-such?" He asked me a couple of days back. I didn't answer immediately, I just looked at him. It was a name of someone that was, yes indeed, close enough to spend holidays with us at one point of our lives, but had disappeared. Not from any fault of our own, unless telling someone not to share your personal business to strangers is a reason to break personal ties, but I digress.
Coincidently I had seen that woman earlier before while walking Maya. She all but begrudgingly uttered three words without looking at me. I have been in an extremely good mood, so nothing this person did or said could possibly throw me over the edge. Actually, her actions were quite fitting of her personality - that I ignored before because she was a friend."Actually," I told my hubby, "I saw her today. She was her usual self." Which then led to another conversation: Whether or not "I liked her."
"I don't dislike her," I answered. "But I just don't like how she's reacted to my personal request to keep our business private."I continued...
"She's a good person. But if a simple request to NOT share my personal information was reason enough to end a friendship, well, I don't know what to tell you. I was in my right."My hubby continued to eat, barely lifting his eyes from his food and just said "But...deep inside she's a good person."
"Yep. She's a good person. She's a fine person. Like I said before. I don't hate her. I don't dislike her even. But right now - I just don't like her actions."It seemed odd, at least to my hubby, to place anyone in this limbo zone: Don't hate, don't like, but don't dislike either.
But to me it seems perfectly appropriate.
Hate seems too strong of a feeling and disliking a person over a single action (or even a series of actions) seems a little childish to me. I guess with age and retiring from a career that all but consumed me, has given me a new perspective on life and people.
I don't know if I'm right - but what I do know is that it keeps me calm and happy...and that's all that matters to me right now.
Staying happy.
